weird stuff

Hey girls.
It's been quiet in here lately...how is everyone?

So, for mostly selfish reasons, I missed you girls a lot today. I miss you often because you are absolutely some of the best people I know, of course, but today I wanted you to hold my hand and help me figure out how to respond to some madness that happened here...

So...as I said in my last post, the ex had emailed me. Weird, but no biggie, right? Well...he warned me that something was coming in the mail; that something arrived today. It was a dvd video that he had made of himself talking to me. Weird, right? I thought maybe he was just being...well...weird, and tried not to freak out too early. Then he starts talking about what great friends we were, and recounting memories...and then wraps it up by, basically, asking for another try with me (oh, adding in there, btw, that he's dated other people and I was the best...not sure how that's supposed to help his case any...). It was, I guess, a very sweet gesture, one I wish more guys were courageous enough to make. But it was definitely from the wrong guy or to the wrong girl, or something. So now it's up to me to figure out how to respond to this; he said I could email or call (no kidding, he had the number appear at the bottom of the screen like they do in infomercials--I wish I could figure out how to show this whole thing to you; but I also don't want to totally be bashing him, so maybe it's good I can't?)

In other, kinda-but-not-really-related news, I had dinner with J last night. The purpose was to talk about youth stuff, which we did; I prayed a lot before that my heart wouldn't get too ahead of my silly little head, and I think I'm doing okay with all that. I mean, I still like him more than I ought to; but at least meeting with him didn't somehow make all that worse or anything. After my talk with him (and some of my own previous thoughts/convos with my sis) I'm even more worked up about my church. It's funny, because J dislikes the same things I do about our church, but perceives them differently. It was a really good convo for me to have, one that I'm probably going to be processing for a while, as it will determine how I interact with/think about my home church. I'm hopeful that the heartbeat of the church can be changed, but I'm not sure how, if that makes sense.

Anyway...I would love to talk with all of you! This weekend is crazy busy, but I'll make time to talk with you all!

Hannah, I wanted to hear from you for sure about Easter? Did you run it by Matt? I totally want to talk to you, but was hesitant to call from the brevity and mystery of your previous post. Will you call me sometime? More than talking about Easter, I just want to talk about LIFE with you! Because I love you! That goes for all of you!! :)

Love you, friends.
-Danielle

a request

I hate to be mysterious and secretive, but I just need to ask for prayer right now. I just really need it. You'll have to trust me on that. Thanks guys!! I know I can count on you!

Quick update

So the ex emailed me this week. (For some reason it makes me nervous to say names...in case a savvy googler is able to pull something up.) He's going to be in California and wanted to hang out with the whole crew the Saturday before Easter. I responded that I thought it would be fun...but, I was considering heading to LA that weekend (as per our convo, Hannah!). I know that we all have different breaks...not sure who's on what break, though.
Hannah...a bit of both weeks
Val...week before Easter
Me...week after Easter
Michelle...???

Would you guys want to celebrate Easter together? Val and I were together last Easter and it was pathetic...but I think if we did it this year it would have a completely different feel. I know that would mean sacrificing family time, and I'm not sure what sorts of traditions ya'll have for Easter...but it's a thought. Maybe we could be out there for all of Hannah's break, in shifts. Like Val goes to LA Wednesday and Leaves Sunday; I get in Friday and leave Wednesday. Michelle, I know you said you had to be in town that week, but is it for the whole week? Any chance of ditching Easter?

Either way, Hannah, I wanna talk with you about this--can I spend Easter with you? (I still have to run this by the folks, but think it shouldn't be a biggie.) I'll call you. :) And I want to come out the week of June 12th and spend some time with you then too (Michelle? you too?)...but we can talk about that when it gets closer!

I love you girls. I hope this finds you well.
Always,
Danielle

House

Weiss was on House! I love him. So sad he left Alias...but that was the beginning of the downward sprial...!

Hi. I'm here too.
I miss you girls!!! Like you don't even know. I was talking with my friend Mary Beth today and she was asking me if I really had any idea who I really am. I told her yes, but it's been a while since I have felt like I've been able to really act like myself. And how it was when I was with you three that for the first time ever I think I really learned to look at who I am as a person and to be loved for who I am, big, ugly thorns and all.

I really am beginning to build some friendships here, but they're just barely in that awkward "almost good friends" stage that we were in about now of our freshman year. Mary Beth and I had a good time with each other; we were both almost painfully honest about our weaknesses, which was good. It's a big crazy though, because she like J too. That ended up coming out today because we both mentioned that we often feel like the way we act is dependent on what people think of us, notably him. Anyway, I had "known" that she liked him for a while, but didn't want to talk with her about it because it could make things awkward. Fortunately, I think we were both healthily honest with each other--even sharing times when we'd been jealous of the other person for time she'd spent with him. (Remember how ridiculous this is, because J=Michael Vartan in all practicality.) Anyway, it was good. But now I'm going to be double-thinking everything I do even more, because she's involved. Silly silly silly!! And it looks like I may be moving out with her still, despite some previous conversations to the contrary. The junior high pastor's girlfriend may move in with us too, if she comes up from San Diego. She's cool, but perturbed with suburbia, so I don't know how that will work out.

Umm...My Easter break is the week after Easter, beginning April 17th. I have no commitments that week, so if any of ya'll are free then, just holler and I'll be there. :) If I can work it out financially, anyway.

I really really miss doing life with people who know me. I'm glad to have the glimmer of hope that something may be just on the horizon, but it's frustrating to not have it now. I'm lonely. I spent time this weekend with Kallie--I'm totally crazy about her. She's a kook. But I still don't know her in and out. And she may end up moving to San Francisco. AND my other new friend Courtney may be moving to New York (road trip next summer, anyone? :) ).

I sound whiny. Sorry! Life is actually pretty good right now; I'm just all introspective after the afternoon's conversation with Mary Beth and I don't really know what to do with all the stuff swirling in my head.

I've made March Mozart Month. I'm gonna try to stop and Borders this week and buy some cds. My musical education has been sorely neglected.

Hannah, do you and Matt do a good job at staying emotionally intimate with one another? My pastor spoke on marriages today, and I thought of you (as one of my few married friends!). It seems like that deep friendship intimacy would be difficult to maintain at times.

Michelle, you're almost done! Did you get my email about the job at the classical school? It sounds great except that it's for the younger grades. Totally what I'm into, though. I'm seriously toying with the idea of starting a classical high school here. Kinda unbelievable, huh? Anyone want in on this with me? I'm actually serious about it, though it would be years probably before any of us would be ready to oversee it.

Val, we need to get working on hotels. Can you let me know once you've talked to your familia? How is life? How is the accepting grace going? Your story about the guy was quite funny; though, it made me feel dreadfully awkward for you. At least it's a reminder that you're pursuable, I guess (though why is it that those who pursue are always the ones that we aren't interested in?).

You know what makes me laugh about my posts? I just kinda blabber on and they're probably riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes. I could use some of Michelle's influence here to persuade me to proof read.

One thing I think that this blog lacks is real interaction. Know what I mean? I feel like it's a four way journal, where we all post what's up, but there's not much dialogue, etc. Maybe just a problem with this medium, I dunno.

Anyway, chicas, it's my bedtime.

Love you lots and miss you!

I'm out here for you, Michelle!

Although ,there is very little to write. I bet you guys don't realize how much I think about you though. Cuz its a lot. you guys are always running across my brain for some reason. Especially when I drive down Rosecrans towards Gilbert...sniff, sniff.

nothing new here. still whittling away at job stuff. i think i know where i want to work and Kashelle is really seriously considering it too. i really hope she goes there. she hasn't interviewed yet though. i am waiting for my 2nd interview, with the ICU manager (who is the cousin of my nurse that I work with for school!). That should be pretty easy. its just a matter of me settling down.

Matt is good. Pete is in New York with his dying father, so matt is running things again. But, things are okay. they seem a little slim on work (at least for the laborers, not for matt) but they hopefully just took another job. i don't know all that much about work other than that. oh, they had a bad inspection last week, which really got matt down. but it sounds like the inspector was stupid, and so they are waiting until their regular guy comes back to evaluate things.

When is spring break for you guys?? b/c i probably won't be taking Biola's break, but will have days off during spring break for the school I work at. maybe maybe??

so, thats my update. boring, i know. no new pics either. i'll work on that...Val, i really want to see your haircut and decide for myself if its bad.