Hi. I'm here too.
I miss you girls!!! Like you don't even know. I was talking with my friend Mary Beth today and she was asking me if I really had any idea who I really am. I told her yes, but it's been a while since I have felt like I've been able to really act like myself. And how it was when I was with you three that for the first time ever I think I really learned to look at who I am as a person and to be loved for who I am, big, ugly thorns and all.

I really am beginning to build some friendships here, but they're just barely in that awkward "almost good friends" stage that we were in about now of our freshman year. Mary Beth and I had a good time with each other; we were both almost painfully honest about our weaknesses, which was good. It's a big crazy though, because she like J too. That ended up coming out today because we both mentioned that we often feel like the way we act is dependent on what people think of us, notably him. Anyway, I had "known" that she liked him for a while, but didn't want to talk with her about it because it could make things awkward. Fortunately, I think we were both healthily honest with each other--even sharing times when we'd been jealous of the other person for time she'd spent with him. (Remember how ridiculous this is, because J=Michael Vartan in all practicality.) Anyway, it was good. But now I'm going to be double-thinking everything I do even more, because she's involved. Silly silly silly!! And it looks like I may be moving out with her still, despite some previous conversations to the contrary. The junior high pastor's girlfriend may move in with us too, if she comes up from San Diego. She's cool, but perturbed with suburbia, so I don't know how that will work out.

Umm...My Easter break is the week after Easter, beginning April 17th. I have no commitments that week, so if any of ya'll are free then, just holler and I'll be there. :) If I can work it out financially, anyway.

I really really miss doing life with people who know me. I'm glad to have the glimmer of hope that something may be just on the horizon, but it's frustrating to not have it now. I'm lonely. I spent time this weekend with Kallie--I'm totally crazy about her. She's a kook. But I still don't know her in and out. And she may end up moving to San Francisco. AND my other new friend Courtney may be moving to New York (road trip next summer, anyone? :) ).

I sound whiny. Sorry! Life is actually pretty good right now; I'm just all introspective after the afternoon's conversation with Mary Beth and I don't really know what to do with all the stuff swirling in my head.

I've made March Mozart Month. I'm gonna try to stop and Borders this week and buy some cds. My musical education has been sorely neglected.

Hannah, do you and Matt do a good job at staying emotionally intimate with one another? My pastor spoke on marriages today, and I thought of you (as one of my few married friends!). It seems like that deep friendship intimacy would be difficult to maintain at times.

Michelle, you're almost done! Did you get my email about the job at the classical school? It sounds great except that it's for the younger grades. Totally what I'm into, though. I'm seriously toying with the idea of starting a classical high school here. Kinda unbelievable, huh? Anyone want in on this with me? I'm actually serious about it, though it would be years probably before any of us would be ready to oversee it.

Val, we need to get working on hotels. Can you let me know once you've talked to your familia? How is life? How is the accepting grace going? Your story about the guy was quite funny; though, it made me feel dreadfully awkward for you. At least it's a reminder that you're pursuable, I guess (though why is it that those who pursue are always the ones that we aren't interested in?).

You know what makes me laugh about my posts? I just kinda blabber on and they're probably riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes. I could use some of Michelle's influence here to persuade me to proof read.

One thing I think that this blog lacks is real interaction. Know what I mean? I feel like it's a four way journal, where we all post what's up, but there's not much dialogue, etc. Maybe just a problem with this medium, I dunno.

Anyway, chicas, it's my bedtime.

Love you lots and miss you!