Dusting off the keyboard...

Well, not really. I use my computer a lot. But I kinda sorta forgot to blog cuz i was kinda distrcted by work n stuff. Not to disappoint, but i'm actually not on night shift yet. I won't be there for another couple months, and even might be able to do days if I decide. Now that I have the option, i'm really not sure WHAT i want! silly me!

Work is good, and I really do look forward to going there most of the time. It is truly a challenge though-- some days have been incredibly slow, other days are furiously paced. I like those cuz the 12 hrs whip by, but I can't seem to leave work feeling like I did as good a job as I would like. I'm not killin' patients by any means, but I want to do better. And I will, with time. Its very much a time of adjustment and patience. I really want to skip all this time where I don't know anything (I know you guys think I'm brilliant, but trust me on this one, i'm not using false humility) and go straight to the well-prepared, confident nurse that I see in my coworkers. But please, don't tell me "I'll get there eventually, don't worry." Honestly, I hear that a ton and all ready know it, so there is no need to repeat it. I'm not needing advice, just venting to my friends. = )

So, thats me. I love saying I'm an RN and i get to do that frequently. I went to Biola today for the first time since it started up again. It felt a little strange. But I love looking at the new styles and watching people interact like we used to. I ran into Melissa Schubert, who tried to get me to hook her up with single Docs....I think I talked her out of it.

Matt is good-- works been super busy, and hot of course, but he is doing okay with it. Pete might even get him some paid vacation time! That would be cool...we won't have to worry about taking off anymore.

Thanks everyone for updating (well, except diz, but i allready got a verbal report...oops, there's that nursing lingo!). Michelle, i'd love to see you in October....let me know when...i have half the month scheduled so far, but i'm off 4 days aweek, so i'm sure i'll squeeze ya in! As for SanDiego, I'm pretty sure I could swing it....Matt and I would love to see the zoo, since we saw SeaWorld at graduation, but i'm up for just hanging out too! No for Tucson though, cuz i'm booked to be in Yuma at that time....Michelle, are you on the way?? Oh, fyi, i think i'm going to a housewarming party i'm throwing for Danielle next weekend....everyone's welcome. = ) nobody else is coming, actually, but i thought i'd throw it out there....sorry, i want to visit everyone, but only have a few days off.

okay, i can't eat my corn on the cob and type, so i gotta go. I miss you all immensly and I will be doing my best to open up my schdule in novemeber for you!!

seeing double

Not sure how this happened...
More later. :)

More from me...more awake now

Hey kiddos. I realize my most recent post said...umm...absolutely nothing. :) I'm at school right now, filling in for another teacher. Most of her students are gone on a field trip and the others are all actually working--it's amazing! :) Haha. Gotta love high school students.

Okay. So, I'm gonna start over. It does crack me up when I think about how different we all are. Michelle is probably smart enough--and careful enough--that she wouldn't have posted my last post without revision and thought. Hannah and Val probably would have at least spent some more time on it...but not me. :) Ah, well. Glad we're each our own girl.

I'm still a bit nervous about being discovered on here. Have any of you tried to google it or anything? I'd feel better if I knew beyond a doubt that no one would read what I say here... hmm...

I guess what I did communicate in the last post, however inarticulately, is that I'm a bit overwhelmed with life right now. :) Not in a really crazy, I-can-hardly-do-it sort of way, just in a I-better-not-think-about-doing-TOO-much-else sort of way. :) It's all good. I still love love love working with the hgih school girls. I'm realizing though that some of my favorites are graduating soon. That makes me sad!! :( But I'm also jazzed because one of them will be staying in the area and I think she and I will end up becoming friends. It's weird that I'll be friends with someone who is nearly 6 years younger than me, but I'm jazzed about it. She's a neat girl. I just won't tell my seniors that I'm friends with someone their age. Haha.

I'm getting really excited about Romania this week. I need to work on planning a training day that allows our kiddos (they're all over 16, so they're really not kids, but you know...) Hannah, I'll actually send you an email about that. I know you're totally ridiculously busy, too...but I would love to talk with ya about some of the stuff you set up for initiatives. The sticky thing is that I'll only have a couple hours to try to do what we spent a whole day doing. I'm thinking we'll do the tree/rope game, the "river" game, and maybe the big group circle/rope/shape game. We did the card game already--one of the other leaders led it, but didn't milk it for as much as she could have, I think. The team that's going is really great, but hasn't really bonded yet. Most of them are so busy with school that they don't really realize how important it is for them to get to know their team--of course, some of them DO realize that, and it's stressing them out that we aren't as close as they'd liek to be. But this weekend, we'll be spending disguistingly large amounts of time together, working at that yard sale...so hopefully that will help (btw--pardon my typos. THis computer is SO slow that it's a pain to erase and edit here...). I'm still concerned about J stuff...I'm just so silly. No changes there for me, though of course his life has been insane lately. Pretty much the most difficult thing a person could go through, I think. I don't want my focus on the trip to be what he thinks of me--I'd prefer not to even think about htat. You'll all have to pray hard for me!! :)

Have I told you girls about this boy Grant? For some reason, I seem to attract guys that just are not in my stage of life. He's a sophomore in college, down in LA. He interned with us last summer, and a few months ago sent me a myspace message saying "BTW, I liked you last summer..." To which I responded "Uh...thanks?" It was jsut weird. He didn't say he likes me now, but...weird. And then he posted a TON of comments on my myspace page a while back...like every couple of days...and I'm kinda just ignoring the whole thing. He's a good guy, but so much younger than me (I guess not really...3 years...but college seems like such a different place than what I'm doing now...and I'm just not interested in the silly kid). To make matters more interesting, a bunch of our seniors in HS had MAJOR crushes on him last summer. He was only a year or so aheard of a lot of them. Anyway...it's not a big deal at all and I don't know what made me think of it...I guess thinking about the other boy.

Myspace, btw, is crazy. In the past week, I've reconnected with three old friends from high school--one that I knew when I was in third grade, who's now married!! So so weird.

Hmm...what else do you all want to hear about me? Haha. THat's one really weird thing about this blog. I feel like I get on here and spill my guts, but still don't dialogue with ya'll. I'm terrible at commenting/replying, and it seems the rest of you are, too. So it ends up being a four way (er, three with the absence of our Vegas friend) monologue. No me gusta. Pero...what to do to change it?

Okay, well I really feel like I'm getting to know Kallie, now. I know her enough to tell ehr some of my crazy ideas, like that I think the best way to reach the world for Jesus is to have lots of babies. :) She's way more liberal than I am in most things, and I'm sort of feeling like I'm becoming more conservative in my views. Kind of. Not really. It's just that I don't embrace the Donald Miller way of thinking. :) Have any of you read that book yet? I'm still fascinated with the whole emerging church "conversation."

Are any of you reading anything interesting these days? I just finished Lord of the Flies and All Quiet on the Western Front for teaching--both are pretty interesting. I'm also reading How Shall We Then Live? again, though I couldn't find it yesterday...so I picked up The Marble Faun (which I started last year and still haven't finished!). I'm also reading some Amy Tan book...umm...The Kitchen God's Wife (that's my shower book, right now). And I'm still listening to Dorothy Sayers "The Busman's Honeymoon" on mp3. I really want to start digestng good nonfiction. I'm not good at nonfiction--stories are so compelling to me, and non fiction lacks that. Hmm...But I did get a great deal on a bunch of ol' CS Lewis books. I should work on those, I 'spose.

Okay...well...I've totally talked myself out. HOpefully this doesn't all sound like whahwhahwhah to ya'll. Sometimes I feel like that...when I post all this stuff and there's no response. One of those problems with this medium, I think. Or with the combination of this medium and US! :)

I love you ladies muchisimo! Hugs!

Well...considering the last THREE posts before Michelle's were from me and the Val no longer checks this (lame lame girl--we should all bribe her), I think it's your turn, Hannah! :)

But I'll go anyway, as I watch last week's House. I love it!

So, life has been crazy here the past few weeks. And it's gonna get crazier, unfortunately...

Well, after being gone all Easter week, I came home and got caught up with some school stuff. We're winding down to the end of the year and things are so ridiculously BUSY! Grades are due this week. My fifth period boys have been out of control. I've been trying to figure out if I'll teach AP next year while finishing up my BTSA program.

I told Hannah in April that John's (the youth pastor at my church) dad had a heart attack on Easter Sunday. He passed away the following week. It's been hard/weird at church lately. The kiddos are having a hard time with it, obviously. Many of them knew John's Dad as John's family had the youth group over once last year for a hang out thing. Anyway...it's just been weird.

Along with all of that, my friend Courtney is moving to New York this weekend. We had a going away party for her last week, and are going to finish up our girls' group today. Brandie and I haven't had much time to hang out, so we've been trying to get caught up lately. I just found out that I'll only be home for a few days all summer, so I need to get ready for next year now...

This is a totally lame, bear-bones post. I'm a bit brain dead, methinks.
Would love to catch up with you via phone!

Love ya!!!
-Danielle

um?

was anybody planning on posting or did we decide this blog was doomed and i missed the memo?

Alright...

I'm reduced to bribery. If anyone posts within 24 hours, I'll buy 'em a soda (or a drink, in Hannah's case).

Cooking with Dr. Pepper

Check this out, especially you Michelle! It's an old school cookbook...using Dr. Pepper

holy frickin' cow.

Hey guys.
How are you?
Life is pretty good here. I had a fun weekend hanging out with friends (and it's so refreshing to be able to say that they are my friends, even if they aren't bosom buddies with me!). I went out to eat way too much and spent far too much money frivolously, though, so I have to reign all that in for a bit.

I think I mentioned this before, but I'm kinda still in this weird "blah" tired stage. It's strange...I'm just ready for a change, but I don't know what that means. Partly I think it comes from a yearning to really connect with another human, and partly it comes from doing so much "stuff". I know how to veg, but I don't know how to really find refreshment for my soul, and that's what I'm craving!!

Well, I told ya'll about the ex video (which is still probably the most bizarre thing I've ever seen...). So, today he emails me again and says that he would still really like to hang out, but not necessarily with the other friends he'd planned to hang with...well, here's a clip from his email.
"Honestly I would rather hang with you and there would be no strings attached. In your mind you are probably saying no because you are scared, but I do think a part of you is interested in hanging out when I am out there. Just let me know by the end of this week if possible." And then, in his PS, he goes on talking about how what I was scared about when we were dating was that he was leaving Cali, and how much he misses Cali now and may be coming back...

Scary!

So, then, an hour or so later, he emails again about the Romania letter that ya'll probably got from me today, too, saying he's going to send money. And then--the funny thing--in his ps he says I should marry a youth pastor (and not that I'm planning a marriage or anything even, but so funny how close to my silly little heart that strikes!) And then, just now, he sent another email, apologizing for his earlier emails.

Can I just say I'm so glad I'm not dating him anymore? I don't want to bash him still...but man, oh, man! I emailed back with a very clear cut response...one that I hope gives him the picture without doubt. I said

"I am a bit "scared" but I don't think in the way that you think (and not that it matters since my schedule won't allow any hanging out anyway...). I am completely one hundred percent sure that I do not and will not ever want to date you again--that has nothing to do with your location, etc. When you talk about seeing me, I am concerned that our visit would stir up feelings in you that will never be reciprocated by me.

As far as Romania goes, I don't want you to feel obligated at all to send money. Of course, it is welcome, but don't do so out of some sense of obligation or duty or...whatever."

Hmm...hope that's not too harsh. I ended by saying stuff along the lines of "Have a great trip!"

Anyway, that's my dramatic life today. Funny thing is that it's really drama-free. I just don't have many people to talk to about the little drama that does exist...so you gals get it all. Sorry! :P

Hannah...I'm glad life is a bit better. Sorry again for the communication "error" or whatever on my part and let me know about Friday! I can't wait to talk to you live!

Michelle...where are you? I haven't actually talked to you since November. That's craziness. How's life? How's your stress? How's the family? How's your dad's business going?

Val...umm... I don't know if I have anything to say to you, actually. Oh, anything with that guy you work with? Doesn't it always seem like the guys that girls don't like are the ones that pursue the girls?

Okay...well...this email feels ridiculously superficial and I didn't even respond to anyone's recent posts... lame lame lame. But it's my bedtime and I just wanted to throw something up here to keep you all updated.

I love love love you girls. So much my heart could burst! Hugs!!!!

Happy April Fools!?

Well, what is really happy about it anyway? is more like, "Have a funny april fools" but that sounds kinda gay. Did anyone pull any pranks? or even better, have any pranks pulled on you?? Diz, Val, you guys are LUCKY that it happened on a saturday! no stupid high school pranks, whew!

anyways, i just wanted to be the first to post in april. its been a week!! since anyone posted. what's goin' on here?

life is going much better, thank you for your prayers. it was for stuff related to my marriage, but as much as i love and value you guys to DEATH, there is stuff that i have to deal with btwn matt and me or btwn someone who is actually married. but, i know you guys did what i needed the VERY most, and that was pray...so i appreciate it. = ) no more being scared of me, right diz?

fyi, spring break is a go. matt is totally cool with it. we'll have to come up with something fun to do on easter to celebrate him and Jesus both. kristin will be around too, so maybe she can hagn out. i'll see what kashelle is thinking too. what day do you think you'll come? i was thinking of working wed, thurs and part of friday if you were plaanning on coming later on friday. and i wondered what day you were staying until so that i know when to schedule work that week. but really, its no rush to know. i can work whenever.

sorry val and shell for that little blip. how are you girls? shell, how are things with school and at home? val, how are your classes? how is exercsie coming?? = )

i went to LA fitness with Gloria and was totally dumbstruck. the biola fitness center is weak sauce in comparison! there were tons and tons of equipment to play around on. i couldn't seem to repeat any cuz i kept seeing a different one to try out. it was fun.

i had my last last last nursing lecture EVER this past week!!! no more! we have two weeks of presentations and then we are finished with the theory parts. just school nursing after that. this week i did TWELVE classes of eighth grade std/hiv education. 6 the first, 6 the second. wow. teaching was never my gift, but now i really thank God that i'm not in it. you guys have it a little different b/c you have different subjects, but boy, i just thought i'd shoot myself if i heard that lecture one more time!

family stuff is still the same. my mom is scheduled for surgery (hysterectomy i think) on June 20th, so i think i'll be going home around then to help take care of her. my dad is still really depressed and is really worried about his job now (long story). so, i appreciate your prayers for that situation still.

i think that is a long enough post. i am praying for you all and hope your are finding time to discipline yourself in the Word. its so important. love you tons!!

weird stuff

Hey girls.
It's been quiet in here lately...how is everyone?

So, for mostly selfish reasons, I missed you girls a lot today. I miss you often because you are absolutely some of the best people I know, of course, but today I wanted you to hold my hand and help me figure out how to respond to some madness that happened here...

So...as I said in my last post, the ex had emailed me. Weird, but no biggie, right? Well...he warned me that something was coming in the mail; that something arrived today. It was a dvd video that he had made of himself talking to me. Weird, right? I thought maybe he was just being...well...weird, and tried not to freak out too early. Then he starts talking about what great friends we were, and recounting memories...and then wraps it up by, basically, asking for another try with me (oh, adding in there, btw, that he's dated other people and I was the best...not sure how that's supposed to help his case any...). It was, I guess, a very sweet gesture, one I wish more guys were courageous enough to make. But it was definitely from the wrong guy or to the wrong girl, or something. So now it's up to me to figure out how to respond to this; he said I could email or call (no kidding, he had the number appear at the bottom of the screen like they do in infomercials--I wish I could figure out how to show this whole thing to you; but I also don't want to totally be bashing him, so maybe it's good I can't?)

In other, kinda-but-not-really-related news, I had dinner with J last night. The purpose was to talk about youth stuff, which we did; I prayed a lot before that my heart wouldn't get too ahead of my silly little head, and I think I'm doing okay with all that. I mean, I still like him more than I ought to; but at least meeting with him didn't somehow make all that worse or anything. After my talk with him (and some of my own previous thoughts/convos with my sis) I'm even more worked up about my church. It's funny, because J dislikes the same things I do about our church, but perceives them differently. It was a really good convo for me to have, one that I'm probably going to be processing for a while, as it will determine how I interact with/think about my home church. I'm hopeful that the heartbeat of the church can be changed, but I'm not sure how, if that makes sense.

Anyway...I would love to talk with all of you! This weekend is crazy busy, but I'll make time to talk with you all!

Hannah, I wanted to hear from you for sure about Easter? Did you run it by Matt? I totally want to talk to you, but was hesitant to call from the brevity and mystery of your previous post. Will you call me sometime? More than talking about Easter, I just want to talk about LIFE with you! Because I love you! That goes for all of you!! :)

Love you, friends.
-Danielle

a request

I hate to be mysterious and secretive, but I just need to ask for prayer right now. I just really need it. You'll have to trust me on that. Thanks guys!! I know I can count on you!

Quick update

So the ex emailed me this week. (For some reason it makes me nervous to say names...in case a savvy googler is able to pull something up.) He's going to be in California and wanted to hang out with the whole crew the Saturday before Easter. I responded that I thought it would be fun...but, I was considering heading to LA that weekend (as per our convo, Hannah!). I know that we all have different breaks...not sure who's on what break, though.
Hannah...a bit of both weeks
Val...week before Easter
Me...week after Easter
Michelle...???

Would you guys want to celebrate Easter together? Val and I were together last Easter and it was pathetic...but I think if we did it this year it would have a completely different feel. I know that would mean sacrificing family time, and I'm not sure what sorts of traditions ya'll have for Easter...but it's a thought. Maybe we could be out there for all of Hannah's break, in shifts. Like Val goes to LA Wednesday and Leaves Sunday; I get in Friday and leave Wednesday. Michelle, I know you said you had to be in town that week, but is it for the whole week? Any chance of ditching Easter?

Either way, Hannah, I wanna talk with you about this--can I spend Easter with you? (I still have to run this by the folks, but think it shouldn't be a biggie.) I'll call you. :) And I want to come out the week of June 12th and spend some time with you then too (Michelle? you too?)...but we can talk about that when it gets closer!

I love you girls. I hope this finds you well.
Always,
Danielle

House

Weiss was on House! I love him. So sad he left Alias...but that was the beginning of the downward sprial...!

Hi. I'm here too.
I miss you girls!!! Like you don't even know. I was talking with my friend Mary Beth today and she was asking me if I really had any idea who I really am. I told her yes, but it's been a while since I have felt like I've been able to really act like myself. And how it was when I was with you three that for the first time ever I think I really learned to look at who I am as a person and to be loved for who I am, big, ugly thorns and all.

I really am beginning to build some friendships here, but they're just barely in that awkward "almost good friends" stage that we were in about now of our freshman year. Mary Beth and I had a good time with each other; we were both almost painfully honest about our weaknesses, which was good. It's a big crazy though, because she like J too. That ended up coming out today because we both mentioned that we often feel like the way we act is dependent on what people think of us, notably him. Anyway, I had "known" that she liked him for a while, but didn't want to talk with her about it because it could make things awkward. Fortunately, I think we were both healthily honest with each other--even sharing times when we'd been jealous of the other person for time she'd spent with him. (Remember how ridiculous this is, because J=Michael Vartan in all practicality.) Anyway, it was good. But now I'm going to be double-thinking everything I do even more, because she's involved. Silly silly silly!! And it looks like I may be moving out with her still, despite some previous conversations to the contrary. The junior high pastor's girlfriend may move in with us too, if she comes up from San Diego. She's cool, but perturbed with suburbia, so I don't know how that will work out.

Umm...My Easter break is the week after Easter, beginning April 17th. I have no commitments that week, so if any of ya'll are free then, just holler and I'll be there. :) If I can work it out financially, anyway.

I really really miss doing life with people who know me. I'm glad to have the glimmer of hope that something may be just on the horizon, but it's frustrating to not have it now. I'm lonely. I spent time this weekend with Kallie--I'm totally crazy about her. She's a kook. But I still don't know her in and out. And she may end up moving to San Francisco. AND my other new friend Courtney may be moving to New York (road trip next summer, anyone? :) ).

I sound whiny. Sorry! Life is actually pretty good right now; I'm just all introspective after the afternoon's conversation with Mary Beth and I don't really know what to do with all the stuff swirling in my head.

I've made March Mozart Month. I'm gonna try to stop and Borders this week and buy some cds. My musical education has been sorely neglected.

Hannah, do you and Matt do a good job at staying emotionally intimate with one another? My pastor spoke on marriages today, and I thought of you (as one of my few married friends!). It seems like that deep friendship intimacy would be difficult to maintain at times.

Michelle, you're almost done! Did you get my email about the job at the classical school? It sounds great except that it's for the younger grades. Totally what I'm into, though. I'm seriously toying with the idea of starting a classical high school here. Kinda unbelievable, huh? Anyone want in on this with me? I'm actually serious about it, though it would be years probably before any of us would be ready to oversee it.

Val, we need to get working on hotels. Can you let me know once you've talked to your familia? How is life? How is the accepting grace going? Your story about the guy was quite funny; though, it made me feel dreadfully awkward for you. At least it's a reminder that you're pursuable, I guess (though why is it that those who pursue are always the ones that we aren't interested in?).

You know what makes me laugh about my posts? I just kinda blabber on and they're probably riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes. I could use some of Michelle's influence here to persuade me to proof read.

One thing I think that this blog lacks is real interaction. Know what I mean? I feel like it's a four way journal, where we all post what's up, but there's not much dialogue, etc. Maybe just a problem with this medium, I dunno.

Anyway, chicas, it's my bedtime.

Love you lots and miss you!

I'm out here for you, Michelle!

Although ,there is very little to write. I bet you guys don't realize how much I think about you though. Cuz its a lot. you guys are always running across my brain for some reason. Especially when I drive down Rosecrans towards Gilbert...sniff, sniff.

nothing new here. still whittling away at job stuff. i think i know where i want to work and Kashelle is really seriously considering it too. i really hope she goes there. she hasn't interviewed yet though. i am waiting for my 2nd interview, with the ICU manager (who is the cousin of my nurse that I work with for school!). That should be pretty easy. its just a matter of me settling down.

Matt is good. Pete is in New York with his dying father, so matt is running things again. But, things are okay. they seem a little slim on work (at least for the laborers, not for matt) but they hopefully just took another job. i don't know all that much about work other than that. oh, they had a bad inspection last week, which really got matt down. but it sounds like the inspector was stupid, and so they are waiting until their regular guy comes back to evaluate things.

When is spring break for you guys?? b/c i probably won't be taking Biola's break, but will have days off during spring break for the school I work at. maybe maybe??

so, thats my update. boring, i know. no new pics either. i'll work on that...Val, i really want to see your haircut and decide for myself if its bad.