From me too...

A merry Christmas!

Hannah, as I told you today, I do read this--it just makes me angry that no one posts and then I'm so frustrated that I don't want to post. But I'll get over that for the love o' you!

Well...not that much has transpired since Thanksgiving, and yet it seems as though a lot has gone on. I've been doing a lot of research/thinking about the "Emerging Church." I still don't *really* get what it is, but it scares me! I'm afraid that today's church in America is falling prey to its culture instead of transforming it. But then, as part of that thought, I get worked up with my own two-facedness. I preach one thing, and yet are my actions where my words are? Sometimes it really strikes me to the core that my actions do not align with my professed beliefs. That scares me a lot. I try to justify my lack of action for the Kingdom by saying I AM acting--but am I? Is teaching and generally being a good person enough? Yeah, I hang out with high school girls and am a good friend when needed to some folks out here, but is that enough? I really don't think it is; I feel like I seriously need to get my rear in gear and serve the widows and orphans. But then the thought of how that will affect my life practically also scares me and I wonder...isn't it enough for me to love my family?

I am more confident in a few fledgling friendships. Courtney and I have a degree of honesty between us (because of her, not I!) that few of my seasoned friendships have. Kallie and I are still in the awkward getting to know you stage, but it's fun and I'm at least sure that she really does want to be my friend. Jenny--a girl I mentioned this summer (in reference to the boy J, I think. I told her I kinda liked him. Found out later that her best friend really likes him. Hmm. Oops. haha)--and I have reconnected this week. Brandie and I are hanging out a bit more often (good and bad--more on this later). And tonight I saw a bunch of old friends at a Christmas party. Warm fuzzies, really. Oh, and I saw Mike today. I'm so whacked. Really, I am. I found myself thinking about him all the way home, wondering if I passed up the only relationship I would ever have the chance to have. I do really miss having his input on stuff like Donald Miller and the Emergent Church. But I'm still not overly attracted to him, and I still think he and I would bicker like the dickens if we ever spent much time with each other, so I suppose that it was good of me to be honest with him. It just makes me a bit lonely for that sort of intellectual/affectionate companionship.

Well, chicas, I guess we have a bit of friendship housekeeping to do. (Leave it to me, Miss Confrontational to take care of this...haha). I just want to say that I love you girls dearly, but I am feeling a tad bit (understatement) neglected. I know that things are insanely busy for some of you, so I'm not discounting that. I just thought you should know how your silence is perceived on my end. I miss hearing from you and imagine that it will be more and more difficult to maintain a solid friendship with you (something I dearly, dearly hope for!) if there is no interaction. I also don't want to be a nag--so this will be the last time I mention it (I almost promise that. I hope once is enough!). (And note to Michelle: thanks for the email. No hard feelings whatsoever about the birthday thing (Val--that goes for you too) but I DO want to hear about/from you (Val--that goes for you too, too!).)

I think that about covers it. I don't think it sounds like I'm angry--I'm totally not. Just missing you and sad when I don't hear from you.

Catch my drift?

Well, again my dear friends--a happy Christmas to you!

Hannah, I'll do my best to remember to pray for you especially as you interact with your rents!!

Much love to all of you from your favorite Sactowner.