Craziness
Hey all.
I've been going to this conference all weekend on youth ministry. It's been cool, but exhausting. I'll fill you in on my reaction afterward...now, I'm in the middle of a crisis.
Mike (same old) came up to me tonight and told me that he liked me still, and wanted to know if last time (19+ mos ago!) just didn't work, if we should try it again. This absolutely blindsided me. I had no idea that he was interested in me still. He mentioned a few months ago (I think I talked about this w Hannah on the phone?) that he was disappointed that we weren't really good friends, and tonight he said that was because he didn't have a "stopper" something to let him know that it was really over.
I told him that I did not think that it would work for he and I to date, though he is one of my favorite/most respected people.
Part of me wants to beat him up for stupidity. I mean...I had a BOYFRIEND 12 months ago. And I thought at the beginning, when Mike and I...ended whatever it was we had that I was clear that we weren't going to date ever. That it was just done.
Another part of me hurts. How sucky it must have been for him to like me for a year and a half and not know if those feelings were returned. It totally makes me cry. And then I feel bad. And then I get upset for feeling bad because, as far as I can see, I didn't do anything bad.
This is one of those times when it would be great to be living with roommates. I was thinking about calling one of you, but I don't know when you all go to bed. It's silly that I'm so upset by this.
Anyway, I'm using the blog as a vent board. Matt Anderson is probably getting a kick out of it. (Actually, probably not. What a boring life to need to spend it eavesdropping on a personal blog reading crap about my love life. Just kidding, Matt, on all of these counts, if you are in fact reading...but I wouldn't mind if you took it off your prefered list).
I love you girls. I'd love to chat sometime. Val and Michelle, you owe me a call. :)
I'm still planning on "for reals" posting sometime soon. But I have another full day tomorrow, and a busy week.
I am so STOKED about Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see three of my favorite women in the world!
-Danielle
posted by Danielle @ 10:41 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Hey all.
The day after the post above, Mike say "Thank you" to me. I guess for telling him we would never date. Whatever, but it made me feel somewhat better, though still awkward around him. Also, the last session of the conference, I had to sit next to him. I had put my stuff down and left; and when I go back, he was sitting right next to me. I couldn't think of an excuse to switch with someone, or I would have. Anyway, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but whatever. It's over now.
And all this venting done, I'm not nearly as upset as I was when he first talked to me. Sleep definitely did help.
Love ya.
-D
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